Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Intelligence is Over Rated

A friend of mine has a life saving tool that cuts through a seat belt if she gets trapped in the car. She keeps it in the trunk???
”What’s Wal-Mart? Do they like make walls there?” Paris Hilton
“It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren’t, then I’d be a teacher.” Linda Evangelista
My friend and I saw a woman walk by with a nose ring attached by a chain to an earring. She said that would be a problem because the chain must rip out every time she turns her head???
Someone I know could not locate her luggage after waiting at the luggage kiosk. She told the clerk at the lost luggage office about her problem. The clerk asked, "Has your plane arrived yet?"???
So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?” Christina Aguilera
While waiting in line at Subway, I heard the clerk ask if the customer wanted his sandwich cut in two pieces or one. The customer replied, "Oh, just one because I don't think I could eat two."
“Is this chicken what I have or is it fish? I know it’s tuna but it says ‘Chicken of the Sea’.” Jessica Simpson
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,” –Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.” –Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”–Al Gore, Vice President
“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.” –Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I wouldn’t live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” –Heather Whitestone Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,” –Brooke Shields
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know.

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