Saturday, August 30, 2008

One heartbeat

One heartbeat from the presidency: Sarah Palin.

She opposes abortion of any type, including incest and rape.
She denies that global warming is a result of human activity.
She supports teaching creationism in public schools.
She favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
Two years ago she was the mayor of an Alaskan city of less than 10,000 people.
She has been the governor of Alaska for 18 months.
She is an opponent of listing polar bears as a threatened species.
She favors legislation to allow wolf hunting from helicopters.
She favors legislation to allow bear hunting from helicopters.
She opposes protection for whales.

There is an ongoing investigation involving her actions in her home state.

From the Fairbanks, Alaska, Daily News-Miner:

"Sen. John McCain's selection of Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential running mate was a stunning decision that should make Alaskans proud, even while we wonder about the actual merits of the choice.... Alaskans and Americans must ask, though, whether she should become vice president and, more importantly, be placed first in line to become president.

From the Anchorage, Alaska, Daily News

"It's stunning that someone with so little national and international experience might be heartbeat away from the presidency.

These remarks come from Sarah Palin's home state newspapers.

Pigs were Murderers!

Did you know that pigs were responsible for killing many Native Americans during the early years of our nation?

Queen Isabella, the one who sent Columbus to the New World, thought it would be a good idea for him to take lots of pigs on the journey. It made sense because: 1) pigs reproduce quickly and from an early age 2) pork is high in calories and protein 3) Jews don't eat pork (this was the way they'd know if any Jews had sneaked aboard without converting beforehand - this was back in the Inquisition days).

What she didn't know was that pigs, or at least the piggies from Spain, carried lots and lots of nasty diseases. So, if the Spanish had been able to keep all the little piggies in a pen, it would have been okay. But pigs are smart and they learned how to escape and ran off into the woods to do their piggy thing. And of course that included poop. Other animals living in the forest and doing their thing just like the piggies, like deer, rabbits, etc. were on the menu at the local Native American McDonald's. Next thing you know the NA's were eating deer and rabbits loaded with nasty piggy diseases. They got very sick very quickly and died.

So the moral of the story is EAT KOSHER!