Thursday, March 19, 2009

Today's Game: The DC Stimulants vs. The Middleclass OPMs

Maurice loves baseball. In fact he also loves baseball cards. He collects with reckless abandon, but only his specific favorite players. But his allowance doesn't cover his habit. In order to find cards of his favorite players he's got to buy lots of packs of cards. Sometimes he gets lucky and he'll find one in one pack. Sometimes he'll buy ten packs and not find even one favorite player. It's expensive, so in order to subsidize his habit he sells some of his older favorite cards to his Asian buddy Ker Lee. Ker Lee is kind of lucky because he's been wise with his cards and only buys the good ones. Now one day Maurice's friend Lawrence comes to him with a sad story. He, too, collects cards, but he owes money to so many people that he can't borrow any more, plus some of his friends are getting impatient and would like to put Lawrence out of commission for a while. He asks Maurice to help him out. So Maurice, being an altruistic buddy, sells some of his favorite cards to Ker so he can give the money to Lawrence to avoid broken bones.

Stay with me...

The next day he gives Lawrence the money, but a few hours later he sees him with a new carton of cards. "Hey, Larry, what the heck are you doing?" "Hey, Mo, I just couldn't help myself. When you gave me the money I was going to pay off those thugs but I went by the card store and couldn't resist the temptation." So now Larry is still in debt, Mo has cut into his collection, and only Ker Lee seems to have the upper hand.

But wait. Who are Mo's favorite players, the ones Ker Lee now holds for future gains when he sells them back to Mo?

Mo's favorite's: Roger Clemens, Barry Bonds, Rafael Palmeiro, Mark McGwire, Andy Pettite, Jose Canseco, and Alex Rodriguez.

If you aren't sure what the point of this tale is, here is a hint: Mo=?, Ker Lee=?, and Larry=? Refer to the title for more hints. Oh, and if you aren't a baseball fan (though baseball actually has little to do with the basic assumptions of my story), Google the names and you'll quickly get the point.