Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tom and Bernie

In the news today, Bernie Madoff had a visit from Tom Daschel. The two have decided to write a book together, tentatively titled: How to Swindle Your Friends and Relatives Out of Their Life Savings and Not Pay Any Taxes On the Money.

Daschel told reporters that he was quite impressed with Madoff. However, when Madoff asked if Daschel had any cash on him, the newly non-appointed Obama team member quickly hid his wallet.

Daschel had lunch in the Park Avenue apartment, which also serves as Madoff's prison cell. When Bernie could not get four people to sign a bond for him, the judge ordered Madoff to be held under house arrest. Poor Bernie has to hang out in a $7 million Park Avenue Apartment. As for the lunch, the Chinese delivery man was heard to say, "Cheap b_____" when exiting the apartment building. Phone calls to the restaurant went unanswered, but a patron overheard that a charge card belonging to a Mr. Ponzi was rejected by American Express.

When told of the meeting, former SEC Commissioner Christopher Cox commented: "Um, uh."

Newly appointed Commissioner Mary Schapiro had no comment other than to say she hoped that the Chinese food did not contain any peanut butter.

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