Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Palin vs. Persia

There's a pretty weird story floating around, again, about Sarah Palin. Here it goes:

Mrs. Palin asked her pastor for some guidance after she was elected governor of Alaska. She needed a good biblical role model. Her meshugener pastor, and this comes supposedly directly from him, suggested Esther (Hebrew name Hadassah). Esther was, of course, Queen of the Jews. And like Sarah Palin she too was a beauty queen, though unlike Sarah she finished first in her contest. As you may know, Esther is credited with persuading the Persian king to save the Jews from annihilation. The Jewish people celebrate Purim in her honor.

Ancient Persia is today called...IRAN! Oy vey.

Esther is also considered by Jewish scholars to be one of the most beautiful women EVER! Even more beautiful than Joan Rivers or Sophie Tucker! A real looker you should know. And such a nice girl, and smart, too. Kept Kosher. Great personality. A shayna ponem.

I suppose some folks will see this as the coming of a Queen to save the Israelites from the Persian Iranians. I hope you don't take this too seriously Mrs. Palin, should you indeed become VP. You know, because the Jews wound up slaughtering the Persians. I mean like 75,000-0. But thank you for noting the beauty and majesty of the Story of Esther.

And what's with the moose? Esther probably never saw a moose. Or snow. Or nosh a nice bisele ham sandwich for lunch.

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