The Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?
 

SARAH PALIN - I may not answer the questions the way that the moderator might like to hear them, but the way that I know Joe Sixpack and the hockey moms want to hear it. I can see both sides of the road from my house. But what's important is that we not look backward to where the chicken has been, also to look forward and see that the chicken is a maverick who was bold and a real hero for going against his own flock.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

JOE BIDEN: Let me tell you about chickens.  First came the egg, or was it the chicken............................
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
BUDDHA: To ask this question is denying your own chickenness.
EMILY DICKINSON:  To die.

GERALDO RIVERA: OK, live it's Geraldo Rivera bringing you the chicken crossing the road.  Uh...
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

BILL O'REILLY: Hey chicken, shut up and cross the damn street!
DR. SUESS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.  
LEO DUROCHER: Nice chickens finish last.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

ARLEN SPECTER: The chicken crossed the road, took a right turn through the intersection, made a complete 360 in mid air, then landed on the other side!
JOHN LENNON: I am the egg man, I am the chicken, koo koo kachoo
SHAKESPEARE: To cross or not to cross, THAT is the question
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
STEVE JOBS: iCHICKEN
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

SAMUEL BECKETT: We are all born chickens.  Some remain so.

HANK PAULSON: So the fox ate all the chickens.  The hen house is empty.  We have to rescue the farmer.  Let's have 700 billion chickens cross the road.  

RICHARD NIXON:  I am not a chicken.

JACK BAUER: Tell the truth chicken, why the hell are you crossing the street and who do you work for or I'll splatter your yolk all over the damn sidewalk!

MULDER: The chickens are out there Scully, you just have to believe!

COLONEL SANDERS: Damn - I missed one.