Friday, October 31, 2008
Shameful approach by the McCain campaign
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
GO PHILLIES!!!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The $1.99 special
Selig-ball
Monday, October 27, 2008
Fox Ball and the World Series
Saturday, October 25, 2008
More of the Same
Ashley Todd, 20-year-old college student from College Station, Texas, admitted Friday that the story was false, police said.
Friday, October 24, 2008
AT&T
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wal-Mart makes a move
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
$22,800 on makeup
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Heeeere's Sarah!!!
Monday, October 20, 2008
America needs a leader
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Collin Powell endorses Barak Obama
“I think that [Obama] has a definite way of doing business that will serve us well,” Powell said.
“I don’t believe [Palin] is ready to be president of the United States,” Powell said flatly. By contrast, Obama’s running mate, Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware, “is ready to be president on day one.”
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Socialism in reverse
Friday, October 17, 2008
Joe the Liar
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Chicken
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
CHENEY: Where's my gun?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
BUDDHA: To ask this question is denying your own chickenness.
EMILY DICKINSON: To die.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SUESS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
LEO DUROCHER: Nice chickens finish last.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: I am the egg man, I am the chicken, koo koo kachoo
SHAKESPEARE: To cross or not to cross, THAT is the question
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only crossroads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
STEVE JOBS: iCHICKEN
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Damn - I missed one.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Think About This One
1. Cows
2..The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
C O W S
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq .... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...It creates a hostile work environment.
Oh Those Funny Founders!
OY!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sarah Palin: Alaska's Darling. Or...
A Response from Senator Nelson
Thank you for contacting me about the $700 billion to bail out Wall Street. I voted against it because I believed it lacked meaningful relief for homeowners facing foreclosure, and it left taxpayers with the short end of the stick.
Still, make no mistake: I understand the severity of this financial crisis. The bottom line is that until we stem the record number of home foreclosures, this crisis will continue to worsen.
That’s why I’ve proposed a three-part plan to address the financial crisis, including help for homeowners.
First, I’m working on legislation to create new ways for homeowners to refinance their mortgages and stay in their homes. My proposal will require Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to retool mortgages that they hold on their books. It will also establish a direct loan facility within the Federal government to require lenders and other financial institutions that benefit from the bailout to refinance or modify mortgages in danger of default or foreclosure.
Second, I am calling for an investigation into the business practices of major credit rating agencies that helped foster the enormous growth of the mortgage-backed securities industry. Investors relied on and trusted in those credit ratings, and the public deserves to know how these rating agencies concluded that such risky investments could receive high credit ratings.
And finally, we must better regulate all aspects of the financial markets. Today’s financial crisis results from years of inadequate oversight that has been far too tolerant of excessive risk taking.
Meantime, I’ll continue to press Congress to act quickly to keep people in their homes and put our economy back on track.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Bring Back Tar and Feathers!
Enough is Enough
Saturday, October 11, 2008
McKeating and Palter
Friday, October 10, 2008
Main Street or Wall Street?
(1) Goldman Sachs gives Hank Paulson seven hundred million dollars (that's seven zero zero comma zero zero zero comma zero zero zero) in salary and bonuses.
(2) Goldman Sachs lends Hank Paulson to the Treasury (now that he can afford to be a public servant).
(3) As the Secretary of the Treasury, Paulson insists that we give Goldman Sachs a lot of money, in exchange for a lot of crap. (If not, we all die.)
(4) Except it's not Hank Paulson's money, it's ours.
(5) If the crap turns out to be crap, we're stuck with it. (And by the way: if it's not crap, why are they so desperate to unload it?)
(6) In four months, Paulson returns to Goldman Sachs.
(7) Paulson receives salary and bonuses from the money we just gave to Paulson to give to Goldman Sachs to give to Paulson.
(8) It's our money. Or was. But we don't get preferred shares. We don't get a ten percent dividend. We don't even get a free copy of The Warren Buffet Way: Second Edition (Paperback). We get crap.
Amazing stuff. They would like you to think this is "Main Street" and not Wall Street. How dumb do they think we are?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!
Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator or to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter
catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor.
Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Three Wise Men
A Bit of Presidential Advice
Monday, October 6, 2008
The End Of Civilization
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I Need An Attorney!!!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Reverse
Friday, October 3, 2008
Get To Know Andrew Clements
The Sky Is Falling! The Sky Is Falling!
** "Even as policy makers worked on details of a $700 billion bailout
of the financial industry, Wall Street began looking for ways to
profit from it.
**"Financial firms were lobbying to have all manner of troubled
investments covered, not just those related to mortgages.
**"At the same time, investment firms were jockeying to oversee all
the assets that Treasury plans to take off the books of financial
institutions, a role that could earn them hundreds of millions of
dollars a year in fees.
**"Nobody wants to be left out of Treasury's proposal to buy up bad
assets of financial institutions."
Treasury Secretary Paulson has admitted that the $700 billion figure was pulled out of his head!
Congressmen and Senators admit they don't know how the $700 billion amount was determined.
During TV interviews, which were seen by millions of Americans, Congressmen of BOTH PARTIES admitted that they thought the bill would pass and if they had known it would NOT then they would have voted for it.In other words, they voted against it merely to go on record that they voted NO!! These people are swine and should be removed from office.
We have been told that failed mortgages are at the core of the bailout. The problem is that the number one issue with American families is NOT their mortgage payments. Underlying the the inability to maintain mortgage payments is the inability to maintain health care costs. That is the REAL reason we Americans are in such a financial bind.
This bailout will NOT help even one American pay for health coverage.
This bailout will NOT help Americans pay for gas ot to heat their homes.
This bailout will help the robber barons who control Wall Street.
The same scare tactics that put us in Iraq are being used to scare us into thinking the sky will fall if we don't buy the bailout.
Giving $700 billion of American taxpayers money to the same people who caused this mess in the first place is a financial disaster that our children will be stuck with for years to come. What will they do when the money dries up?
This is an attempt by the outgoing administration to grab as much from the US Treasury as they can before next January. Lies and deception have been their main weapon for the last eight years. I don't know about you, but I've had quite enough of the Republicans and the Democrats who have stolen our country. But since the Republicans have had the White House for 8 years, it's time for a change.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Sarah Six-Pack
Uh, Sarah, Can You Just Answer the QUESTION?
Asked what newspapers and magazines she reads, Palin - a journalism major in college - could not name one publication.
"I've read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media," she said at first. Couric responded, "What, specifically?"
"Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years."
"Can you name a few?"
"I have a vast variety of source where we get our news," Palin said. "Alaska isn't a foreign country, where it's kind of suggested, 'wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?' Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America."
Suggestion for a follow up question, "Hey, numbnuts, NAME ONE! GET IT?"
Or how about, "Do you read the Huffington Post?"
Sarah: "Uh, oh, yes, sure, every day." Couris, "Oh REALLY!"