Tippecanoe and Tyler too

On April 4, 1841, William Henry Harrison died of pneumonia. He was our ninth president but only for one month. He is remembered due to his short stay in the Oval Office and for Tippecanoe and Tyler too. Actually the Battle of Tippecanoe did not take place at the Tippecanoe River as reported by Harrison. His most famour victory on the battlefront was the Battle of Thames but try rhyming with Thames. Harrison favored slavery, and fought hard for Indiana to be a slave state.

Harrison became quite ill about three weeks after the inauguration, thus putting the lie to his catching cold because he didn't didn't wear a hat or coat that day. Colds don't take that long to materialize. Anway, he was treated with opium, castor oil, and Virginia snake oil. Ugh. Anyway, he probably dies of a virus and the inablity to get any rest. The White House was a wide open public building in those days, and hangers on and job seekers were everywhere.

The interesting thing about his death was that it tested the Constitutional succession clause. Nobody was exactly sure that John Tyler, the VP, was actually next in line to become the permanent president. It was then decided that once he was sworn in he did indeed become the president.

Oh, and on April 4, 1968, Martin Luther King was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee.

Happy Birthday Cell Phones

On April 3, 1973 Martin Cooper made the first portable cell phone call. He worked for Motorola and invented this miracle that people now use to annoy each other all over the globe. Thanks a bunch Marty. I'll remember you the next time I'm in line at Wal-Mart and the lady in front of me is holding the line up by talking as loudly as possible about absolutely nothing.

Ponce Goes to Florida

On April 2, 1513 Ponce de Leon stepped onto a beach somewhere near present day St. Augustine and named the land Florida. He had been told by Indians in Puerto Rico that there was an island of gold and a fountain of perpetual youth. Had it been one day earlier perhaps Ponce would have taken this information with a grain of salt, but the pursuit of gold and youth was overpowering and off he went. His three ships sailed around the southern end of Florida but seeing no hotels in Miami they continued up the west coast. Since it was already April he figured that Spring Training was over so headed back to Puerto Rico.

Not one to quit so easily, Ponce returned to Florida eight years later. Though there were still no hotels in Miami, at least with air conditioning, he was determined to establish a settlement and perhaps build a fancy hotel all on his own. He brought along 200 men, horses, cattle, and supplies, but no air conditioners. Little did he know that the land was already occupied. Early land speculators, also known as the Calusa Indians, did not take kindly to these fancy shmancy Europeans trying to grab up the good spots. And they meant business. One of the Indians, being known as On Target by his fellow warriors, struck old Ponce with a poison arrow and killed the dude. He was buried in Puerto Rico. Originally his tombstone was to read, "Here lies No Fountain No Gold" but they thought better of it and instead are inscribed the words, "Here rest the bones of a lion."

Liberty Bell renamed!!!

Did you know that Wal-Mart today bought the rights to the Liberty Bell? It shall henceforth be named the Save Money Live Better Wal-Mart Liberty Bell.

John Ford

On March 31, 1973, John Ford was awarded the Medal of Freedom by President Nixon. This guy was a real American hero. Not only did he direct some of the greatest films Hollywood has ever made, he was also a war hero. Though he was already a famous Hollywood director, he joined the navy during WWII. He filmed the Battle of Midway from atop a primary Japanese target and was hit by flying concrete. He was later hit in the arm by shrapnel which tore a hole through the arm. He served in the Pacific, North Africa, and Normandy. He later held the rank of rear admiral in the U.S. Naval Reserve. When handed the medal, he accepted with the words, "God bless America."

If you've never seen any of his films, try "The Searchers" with John Wayne. They don't make them like that any more.

Eraser

On March 30, 1981 President Ronald Reagan became the only president to survive an assassination attempt. Upon being wheeled into the operating room he asked the doctor, "I hope you're a Republican!"

On this date in 1858, Hyman Lipman of Philadelphia patented the first pencil with a attached eraser. Now that is something we should remember.

Sacrifice

On March 29, 1943, President Roosevelt and the United States government began rationing meat and cheese among other items. Roosevelt stressed that all Americans had to sacrifice in order to wim the war. It was a matter of fairness. I wonder how willing Americans would be today to adhere to a rationing program.

Today is John Tyler's 219th birthday. In case you don't know, he was the 10th president and half of the "Tippecanoe and Tyler too" campaign.

On March 29, 1999 the Dow Jones closed over 10,000 for the first time.